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Table Content  

  1. Pictures
  2. Stories
  3. Poems
  4. Songs
  5. Not so Famous Sayings
  6. Stupid Happy Faces


My Old Logo

My New Logo

    Here are thumbnail pictures of my drawings - Click on the thumnail picture to see the whole drawing.  Sometime I'll have more picture's.

Click Here For The Big Picture Cave Click Here Fot the Large Stairs Stairs Click Here For The Fish Story Fish  


Now the Other Stuff!

Now the other stuff that I want to put in. It's poems and stories and other stuff!



Frank's Little Diner
Paul Gerrish

    It was closing time at the diner, it would open in eight hours but who really cares. It was 11 o'clock and I needed to get home from the diner. Since I had no car, bike and didn't have money for the bus I had to walk from Pine's Street to Middle Ave. and that was half a mile and three blocks. It takes me a half an hour, to get to my apartment on the second level in to the three-piece-room that I had.

    One of the rooms was my bedroom, a small four wall room with a bed that takes half of my bedroom. Right by my bed is my closet, a small closet that only can fits the fifteen shirts, five pair of pants, one tuxedo, which I only used once, and the eighteen boxer shorts. On the opposite side of the closet, there is a door. The door leads to the living room. By the door in the living room is my bright red couch, in front of the couch is a wood table that I bought from a garage sale. It was a nice old wooden table, it was good enough to hold my big feet then it was good enough for me. In front of the table, I have my television. It wasn't a big television but I could see everything and I had cheap cable too! That was because of my friend, she was a cable guy. Anyway, my kitchen was connected to my living room. It was an O.K. kitchen, it had a refrigerator, a dishwasher a sink, counters, drawers, an oven, and a microwave. The other room was a bathroom, it had a shower, and a toilet a little cabinet to store stuff in, and a sink. This is what I look forward to when I was coming home at night.

    I came in the door and my friend who was crashing at my place for a couple days was there. He was sleeping on the couch with the TV still on. He was Fly that was his name, I always wondered why his name was that but I never found out. He had no job and he would somehow pay half of the rent. I think he was mowing lawns still for Mr. Monty. Fly did that until he became 16 and could have a real job. Fly was a short person that's all I could say about him. That's how I would describe him. He would usually show no expression but anger. Then most of the time he showed none. Sometimes I thought he was a robot.

    I went to the TV and turned it off. Even though the cable was cheap I think the landlord charges me by how many volts of electricity that I use for the electric bill. That's why I turn off all the lights when I don't use them.

    I went in to my bedroom, and fell down on my bed with my clothes still on. I was tired. Wouldn't you if you cook from 4 to 11 o'clock. Then walked a half of mile in a half an hour? Well, that does to me, at least I been working out. I woke up that morning when the sun was streaming through the windows.

    I noticed something very strange I heard sizzling of food? I must have stayed up to late last nigh. At least that's what I thought. I did all the cooking in the house and I thought Fly couldn't cook. I found out that he did. He would probably be good down at the diner. There was something else strange too. Fly seemed to be happy, wasn't true wasn't it? I slammed my head against the wall to see if it was a dream. But it wasn't, so I went out to see fly.

    "Hey, I was wondering if you would wake up. I thought you were dead, or something. Then I heard you snore," He said, " then I knew were alive!"

    "That's, uh, great, what time is it?" I said sleepily "Did I get any calls?"

    "No, except a word about some old girl friend wants to give you a car." Said Fly "It's still 10 o'clock."

    "Which old girl friend? I never had one." I said asked fly. I was wondering if it was someone who had crush on me. Was it someone that I had a crush on? Was it some person whose gonna be stalking me for the rest of life? Then I remembered, I have a friend that is a girl! It was Rya, she was the friend who was the cable guy! She finally got me a car!

    "Man I have no idea, but she said her name was Rya, or Ms. Rail? Maybe it was Rya Rail!" said Fly.

    I was right after breakfast Rya called. "Leo I found the prefect car for you I'll be over at your house in five minutes. Is that OK?"

    I replied "Sure I guess, but can you bring your car before we go see the other car? Because that is why I made you find a car for me because I don't have one."

    "Sure" she said and hanged up the telephone. In five minutes, she was there and I was dressed in my regular clothes for a rainy day, pants, sweater, and a raincoat. We went to the place were the cars were being sold and I got the one she picked for me. It is a car that is good and had an engine! It was great I drove home and showed it to Fly who thought it was cool.

    It was around four and I had to go to work. I went to the parking lot where all the other cars were, I went in Frank's Dinner, and I put on my apron because I was on of the cooks. I was on of the better ones. I was the one not putting hairs in people meals that give them extra stuff on their plate and I do a very good job. Although I came there early, it was a relief to the other cook when we switched shifts early.

    Later… It was closing time at the dinner, it would open in eight hours but who really cares. It was 11 o'clock and I needed to get home from the dinner. This time I didn't have to walk from Pine Street to Middle Ave. I could drive all the way home. 

A Candy Bar and Spam
Paul Gerrish

    T his is a story Of Rock and Sam, it's about when Rock tired a candy bar and Spam. Once Sam was riding a green dog, (that kind of look liked a big toad or frog); Sam said "I'm Sam, Sam the man, would you like to try a candy bar and Spam?"

    "No I would not like to try a candy bar and Spam, now stuff a sock in it Sam the man!" Said Rock, and in Sam's mouth, he stuck a big stinky sock.

    "Would you like it over here? Would you like it over there? Would you like to try a candy bar and Spam?" asked Sam.

    "I would not like it over here, I would not like it over there. Get out of my face Sam the man! I don't want to try a candy bar and Spam!" Shouted Rock then tried to jump of a dock.

    Sam took Rock's hand, Sam had another plan, "Would you like it in a boat, eating it with goat?"

    "I don't want to try in a boat with a goat, it over here, or over there! I don't want candy bar and Spam! Just leave me alone, Sam."

    Then Rock shouted and ran, while Sam was in the park getting a tan, "Would like to try it in the park with a friendly Meadow Lark?"

    "I don't want to try it in a park with a Meadow lark, in a boat with a goat, Here or there! I will not eat it anywhere!" He ran, screamed, and went to a stream.

    "Will you try it on a dish with a fresh tuna fish? Will you even try A candy bar and Spam it's better than Green eggs and Ham!" Said Sam

    "I will not try it in a dish with tuna fish, in the park with a Meadow lark, in a boat with a goat. Get out of here Sam I won't try it anywhere!" Said Rock. He ran from state to state trying stay away from the food he hates.

    "Would you try it in the sky with someone near by?' Said Sam the Man

    "I will not eat in the sky with someone near by, on a dish with tuna fish, in a boat with a goat. I will not try it here or there, I will not try it anywhere!"

    "If you try it I go away for 365 days, then will you try a candy bar and Spam?" Said Sam

    "Now I'll try your candy bar and Spam, only if you go Sam." Said Rock, he tried and had a very big shock. It was good food!

    He tired new food and didn't die, this story has no twist nor bend. I'm afraid it has to come to an end. Remember to try new food, it might be especially good. Good bye for now in the present and the past I hope the will always last!

Six Sailors Ships
Paul Gerrish

Samy Smit spit snot on the sailing ship.
Samy saw the sailing ship start sinking.
Samy told  Sims of the sinking ship that sailed.
Sims said "See the Sassy sailor on the starboard side."
Samy did as Sims said and saw the Sassy Sailor.
Sassy saw so she sent for Steve.
Steve swimming with the sharks saw the ship sinking too.
So Steve told Sussy for seven second secerts of sinking sailing ships.
Sussy sucipisious as she was, seekes to see this sailing ship, whch she was on.
Sussy saw the sinking ship (which was stupid because she was on it)
Suusy seeked Stinky for siking seeking sak
Stinky had already Sailed off, Sussy slip into the sea,  Sammy Sneaked off, Steave slide with Sussy, Sassy ship life boat sank going to saftey land, Sims sank with the sailing ship.
So six sailors are stupidier and Sammy Smit spit.



Miss Sussy

Don't know the author so please e-mail me if you know. 

Oh, Miss Sussy had a steam boat the steam boat had a bell

Miss Sussy went to heaven and the steam boat went to

Hello operator give me number nine

If you discontect me I'll chop of your

Behind the fregerator there was a piece of glass

Miss Sussy sat upon it and cut of her

Ask me no question I'll give you no lies

A girl and boy are in a bathrooms zipping up his

Flies are in the meadow bees are in the park

My sister and her boyfriend are kissing in the

D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K, dark dark

Dark is like a movie a movie is like a show and that's all I

I know, I know my mother, I know, I know pa

I know, I know my sister with 400 arcer bra

My Mother is Godzila my father is King Kong

and my Sister is the stupid one whose singing this song.  -An add from my elementary school



The Original Titanic song!
(From a really old Boyscout Song Book)
(1)Oh, they built the ship Titanic;
    They made her out of steel
And they said no storm
    Would Break her Keel;
But the Lord he raised hand,
    And said 'twuold never stand
It was siad when the great ship down

Oh it was sad (it was sad); it was sad (it was sad)
It was sad when the great ship went down---
    To the bottom of the---
Husband and wifes- little childeren lost their lives.
    It was said when the great ship went down.

(2) They were off the caost of England,
    And heading for the shore,
When the rich refused
    To mingle with the poor
They sent them down below
    Where thev'd be the first to go.
IT was sad when the great ship down.

(3) Oh the ship was full of sin
    And the sides about to burst
When the captian shouted,
    "Women and childeren First"
The First mate try to wire,
    But the lines were all on fire.
It was sad when the great ship went down.

(4) they put the life boats out,
    On the cold and stormy sea
And the band started playing,
    Nearer My God To Thee;
The woemn and childeren cryied
    As the waves swept o'er side.
It was said when the great ship went down.

(5) (Sing slowly and Sadly)
Now because of this sad
    And fateful tradey,
A mighty Caost Gaurd cutter,
    Sails the stormy sea;
And every now and then,
    It goes o'er spot again.
(Sing faster and louder)
    It was said when great ship went down!


Johnny Verbeck

The most demonted song around! I like it, you like it, every body will like it!!!

Once there was a Dutchman, his name was Jhonny verbeck,
He was a dealer in sausges and sauerkruat and spec.
Johnny owned a meat shop, the finest ever seen,
And one day he invented a sausage making Machine!

(Chorus) Oh, Misterm Mister Johnny Verbeck How could you be so mean?
It told you'd sorry for inventing that machine
Now all the neihbors cats and dogs,Will never be seen,
They'll a;; be ground to sauges,In johnny Verbeck's machine!

One day a little Ducth boy came walking in the store,
He bought a pound of sausages and liad them on the floor,
The he began to whistle, and he whistled up a tune,
And all the little sauseges went dancing around the room.

One day the machine got broken, the darn thing wouldn't go
So johnny Verbeck he crawled inside, to see what made it so,
His wife she had a nightmere, came walking in her sleep,
She gave the crank a heck of a yank,
And johnny Verbeck was meat!



This is the stuff  I said and other poeple have said. This have no logical meanings at all! You might think it's stupid but you might not just learn something!!

  1. If you don't know what to say, say it anyway!
  2. Memories last forever but Valentines get trashed
  3. A broken heart is better than no heart at all
  4. Mean people suck but nice people are suspicious
  5. If you never going to do something then die
  6. If you know so much about gay people aren't you gay or yourself?
  7. What makes think you're so smart if you're so stupid
  8. I'm not pergius! I just hate people who are!
  9. Life is like a path, It goes different directions, you follow the paths and you get anywhere even if you don't know it, Looks like I haven't been following the paths!
  10. Life is like a bowl of soup you got to eat it up while it is still warm.
  11. To be or not to be what?
  12. I'll never be  behind your back, I won't be fleeing off in a hiding spot, I'll just be watching and laughing
  13. Life isn't fare, that's why I have you as a friend
  14. Ask a question, make sure it something you know what it is or you're stuck with someone asking the same question.
  15. Why do I have to do math it will never be good for anything
  16. I can't do homework for medical reasons, I get sick.
  17. I don't understand the 'N'  part of 'NO',  maybe it's the 'O',  I  think it's all confusing.
  18. When someone tells you to stop, say how fast and when someone says two jump you say how slow, and If you get asked to Go you ask, Can you stop with these stupid questions!
  19. In this state 21  is the legal drinking age but in this state when you get to drive you are 16  but how do you drink and drive?
  20. The confuse is the confusy and the confuser is the confusy becomes the confuser than the confuser would be confused. Now that's Just Confusing.
  21. The truth:  twisted and tangled and fashioned the way a person sees it.
  22. Hokd on fonics is de whay to bee!
  23. Me have no proper english!  Me tarzan of the apes.
  24. The less  school books I have, the stupider I'll be!
  25. Is it one per person or one per personality?
  26. The cow are coming to get us.  They just want to get are grditued for eating them.
  27. If I wasn't who I was, then i might be the one you are right now.
  28. Right now i think I will scream off my head in silence!
  29. Don't damn it!  It's probably Damned enough!
  30. Cousres
  32. Drat is Darn and Rat mixed to gether.
  33. Your deminted and scary!  Your my new freind!
  34. That's so stupid and weird it might just work!

by Paul Gerrish

Stupid Happy Faces 

Regular                          Wired                            Glasses                          Tongue                          Devils

Remember if you have Poems, Stories and other Stuff you want to give me E-mail me so I can put in my page! Also tell me what you think about this page!! ><((((º>

  • Copyright © 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, Paul J. Gerrish

  •   Created: December 2, 1995
  • (last updated 02/23/99  7:34 PM)
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